Doodledash

My friend's brother is dying from cancer. She went to see him last night and said he doesn't look good. Her sister-in-law said that she doesn't think he will last very long. He is in great pain and has faded into a gaunt shadow of his former self. The wonderful part of this awful experience is the fact that after several years of avoidance, her brother and his wife contacted my friend and re-established their relationship. She has been able to spend the past several months getting to know him and having the joy of memories to cherish. There was anger and resentment that caused the rift in the relationship. The saddest part is that she never knew the reason for the antagonism. She tried to reach out but if the other hand is not extended there is nothing to grasp. Seven years were wasted that can never be recovered as a result of the nonsense. My husband's extended family had rifts throughout the various branches. I thank God that his dad and mom refused to allow the pois...

Amy has wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge since she was three years old. Whenever we have discussed a vacation destination, she has suggested we see it. I am happy to say that she was able to fulfill that dream recently. Our family vacation this year was a trip to San Francisco or more specifically the Golden Gate Bridge. I will never forget the look of awe and delight that Amy had on her face when she first caught sight of the bridge. It was a wonderful moment. I will always treasure it.

This is Logan. He is a member of my family and very loved. He was named after Rory's boyfriend on Gilmore Girls. He is one of the very best gifts that God has ever given.

Whack a bug is part of our family history. It began several years ago when we went to visit my sister-in-law in Colorado. Her home was an old family homestead from the early 1900's. One of those gems that was built cockeyed, had a dirt cellar, and newspaper insulation. It was small, cozy and boxelder bugs loved it. My daughter and I were sleeping in one of the rooms and it had boxelder bugs everywhere. Katie was not real thrilled with them so I started playing whack a bug and smashing bugs everywhere. She was very excited and pointed out all the bugs she could find. There was a distinct reduction in the Colorado boxelder bug population after our visit. Whack a bug became a favorite sport of mine. I would get the fly swatter out for the pesky fly and any other insect that ventured within my sight. I didn't always get it but I gave it very good effort. My most infamous whack a bug incident occurred a number of years ago when there was this especially bothersome fly in the bathroo...

I am in the basement again waiting for pants to dry. Baseball is on the tv upstairs. Amy is watching Juno on the computer. I am sitting here trying to decide if I can wait to take a dump or not. Wait is winning. My friend Lisette is in Africa right now on a personal quest. She is spending three weeks helping people. I am very proud of her. She is going to write about her adventures and thoughts from her blackberry while there. I hope it works. Her blog http://lisettesreflections.blogspot.com/ has her first adventure.

Today I saw a tattered ragged heart. I didn't want to see it. It made me cry. I couldn't look at it closely. I had to turn my back. I saw it in a blur. It hurt. I hurt. My heart cried for it. Tonight I begin the wait.

I have been full of ideas and wanted to write all day. Now that I have a chance, I don't know what to say. I am sitting at the computer in the basement listening to the dryer tumbling and I'm waiting to hang my husband's work pants. They will take about 15 minutes to dry so that is my deadline. I was talking with a friend the other day and my mom was mentioned. She asked if I have always been close to her. I told her that I have and she said that she is close to her mom too. Later my husband and I went to dinner and we were talking about my daughter. I had been thinking about her a lot and I said how much I miss her. I almost started crying. I always thought we would be close because moms and daughers have always been close in my family. I assumed the same would go for me. Unfortunately, that is not the case and it can be really hard at times. Trace Adkins sang a song called You're Gonna Miss This. It talks about the everyday parts of life with your kids that you are on...

Shaken not stirred. Vodka martini. Bond. James Bond. Cool. Super cool. I am not James Bond or Jamie Bond or even close to the persona. I am shaken. I am stirred up. I am worried and nervous. I feel overwhelmed. Life has been hitting us with the punches. One. Two. One. Two. I am still standing. My feelings are not my reality. My faith is my reality. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. In my reality, what I feel may want to push me to the edge but my faith grounds me and the roots hold me solid. I am shaken. I am stirred. And I still keep on going. and going. and going.

You were sad. I could see it in your face. I heard it in your voice. I cared. I wanted to make you smile. I sent you a card. I told you I cared. I told you I was a friend. I didn't sign my name. You mentioned it when you got it. You made a point of talking about it. You made a point of showing your disdain. You didn't hide your disgust. You were making a point. I got the point. I learned. I never did it again. You won but you lost.

I am trying so hard to figure out something witty and wonderful to write to start out the year with a laugh. I can't think of anything. The well is dry. My husband is doing his usual shrill and loud voice that he uses with his brother. I can always tell when he is talking to him. The voice and behavior and attitude slide back to boyhood and he becomes Mr. tryasicantobegoofyandiusuallysucceedatit. It can be whimsical and bring a smile to me for two minutes and then it gets annoying. I love both Dane and Mark but they are totally immature when they are on the phone. The longer they talk the louder the volume gets on this end. I guess the older that Mark gets, the worse his hearing becomes so Dane needs to speak up so he can hear it. Oh oh. The phone is about to die. It is beeping. Thank the Lord for small blessings. Dane is planning our summer excursion to San Francisco and is slowly making me nuts. I want the plans finalized so I can live in peace and quiet for a while. Go go go is ...

Did you know there is a Hong Kong Disneyland? I just learned that on the Travel Channel while my spousal unit was surfing. My daughter learned in Health today that one of the reasons for teen pregnancy is the fact that only 2% of parents talk to their kids openly about the facts. That blew me away. I am one of the 2%. I like Cary Grant and George Clooney and Gregory Peck and Cary Grant and Tom Selleck and David Cassidy and Cary Grant. Some very tasty morsels in the male of the species. Did you know that crocodiles swallow large rocks and they are permanently in their stomach? Maybe they use them for ballast. I didn't know that deers dislike sweet smelling plants like lavender or sage or rosemary. Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. Vaseline, chili powder, cinnamon, and boric acid, which can be used to block an ant trail entrance. I guess they probably wouldn't like jalapenos either. Dandelions reproduce without fertilization. They clone themselves! I guess that pistil and stamen...

I used to love it when I was a very young kid. Very young. Black licorice whips were wonderful things. Heaven sent and into my tummy. At least I have vague thoughts of it. One day I went into the bedroom where my little brother slept. He was still in a crib. I liked the crib. It was fun to grab the bars and shake the sucker. It made good wobble sounds. It was especially fun when my brother was in it because he sometimes liked it and sometimes didn't. When he howled in laughter, I would shake it extra hard but it also drew unwanted attention from the mom. Anyway, the room was empty and I was about to leave when I spied a goodie! It was some licorice. Black licorice. Nummy. It was under the crib so I crawled under to get it. I didn't know about the five second rule at that time. I don't think it was even invented yet. I scrounged the tasty treat and sat for a minute nibbling. I wanted to hoard it and not share but the mom had stressed the importance of sharing. If she found m...

I was trying to get the roll of toilet paper off the top shelf of the cupboard over the toilet. I did not want to drop it. I have had to fish too many things out of the bowl and it is always such an unpleasant experience. One time I was brushing my teeth and instead of putting the brush in my mouth it went sailing and did a perfect swan dive into the drink. I thankfully had gloves around for that one. This time I avoided dropping the tp into the water. I was so happy until I bumped something which caused three things to plummet. I caught one, the other hit the floor, but the cherry blossom body scrub hit the target. Plunk and dunk. I said my favorite s word and Amy, language police that she is yelled. I told her what happened and she stopped her scolding. It was her cherry blossom scrub. I told her that she had a choice to keep it or toss it. She shuddered and told me to 86 it. When I was growing up, my mom had a metal 2 cup measuring cup by the tub for rinsing hair. I heard splashing ...

Why is it that I cry in my dreams for you? My tears are many and flow as a waterfall. I call and reach for you. I grasp nothing but air. Though I dream and think you are real. It is just air. Just love. Just love. Reach out and just love. All I want is you. Nothing else. Just you. Reach out and just love. With open arms. With faith. Just love and one day you will be in my arms. Real. Not air.

broken. hurting. sadness. tears of despair. deep sighs. God uses whatever we give him. He takes the broken pieces and puts them back together in a new and glorious way for His use. letting go. giving up. lifting up. Take it and do you need to do. I can't do it on my own. Do it. Please. Free me from the past and give me a new future. right now. your way. step by step with your help. You are my everything. I can do it all with your help. Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.