Doodledash

Verdana--Why can't blogger update their fonts? I am very tired of the sorry selection that is here. Be more considerate of your patrons. I am going to be changing fonts while writing this. Bitching done. Trebuchet--Amy is home today sick for day #4. I was home Monday and now Thursday. It concerns me because of work. Nothing I can really do about it though. It is out of my hands. She has had a cold. She should be going to school tomorrow just in time to get everything she needs to be busy this weekend and play catch up. She has missed so much school already and gets stressed when she gets back and has to make up everything. It is a vicious circle. Times--I am feeding her lunch right now, a tasty totinos cheese pizza. Crunchy and nummy. She had a distress call cuz a big booger fell out of her nose and she didn't know where it landed. I did a rescue mission and brushed it off her shoulder. Imagine not being able to pick your nose. No more deep digging to get that annoying boog...

ya know those days when everything is making ya nuts and you are tense and stressed and react to everything? well that is my day. i am snapping and crying and nervous and not a fun person to be around. i looked up f*** you on google cuz that was how i was feeling. i got a rude reminder of why that is not a nice thing to say and just how vile it is. i was ashamed of myself and asked the lord for forgiveness. anyway i have to go the knee doctor tomorrow and i am really nervous. background....my dad had bilateral knee replacement surgery seven weeks ago and i have had a first hand up close and personal why i do not want to do that in addition to all the other reasons. anyway my knees are hurting. they are tight. my left calf hurts on the side and i don't know if it is knee, ligament, tendon or what but it makes sleep very unpleasant. anyway my brain is going a hundred miles an hour and my emotions are on red alert and i am having a hard time relaxing. i feel like tears will be c...

I just had a revelation. It is OK to be proud of myself. I have been in a major funk for the past week. Last week I reached a 15 pound weight loss. I was so excited about it. I then found myself in a terrible depression. I did not understand it at all and have been struggling with anger. My legs and my knees have hurt. My tail bone has hurt. My shoulder has hurt. I have been one big ache. We had a long week of rain and gray skies which was a major factor in my aches and mood.  I had so much anger and I couldn't get to the source of it. I finally felt I needed to make a list of everything I was angry about and it turned out to be ten pages long. That was really depressing especially since most of the things I listed were small things. I did notice a pattern that I have to address but I have to just learn to cope with this stuff. I don't have to be mad at myself because I didn't dust. It is stupid.  I have been eating and sabotaging myself. I was full and just wanted t...

It is time for me to get off the bench. I have spent most of my life on it. I have been called off it at times to play and participate in the game but most of the time has been spent on the sidelines. I have been content to sit and watch. Be it right or wrong that was where I chose to be. Choices are something I have been learning a lot about in the past several weeks. Joining Weight Watchers made me face my eating choices immediately and it was a shock because I saw how many wrong food choices I made. I had to adjust to that and then acknowledge the deeper reasons as to WHY I made these choices. What needs were my food and my eating choices telling me? What was I substituting food for and why? Why did I eat? It has been a very revealing time for me. Things that had been hidden and buried were suddenly exposed and opened up for examination. There have been a lot of tears shed that have helped clean out those old festering wounds. I have learned it is okay to face the problems and...