Doodledash

I sat down at the foot of a mountain. I had a shovel on the ground next to me. I had to move the mountain out of the way. I knew it was a hopeless task. I sat there and cried. He told me to give Him the shovel and not to worry anymore. I gave it to Him and fell asleep. I didn't think about it anymore. I actually forgot about it. One day I looked up and realized the mountain was gone and I didn't remember how it had moved. I was so excited and realized He had worked on it and I didn't even realize it. It still hasn't come back.

Logan loves Amy and Katie. Logan loves to give them both sweet kisses. He slipped his tongue between Katie's lips yesterday. He planted some slurps on Amy's lips and cheeks and chin and nose. Logan jumps and dances at Amy's feet. He jumps and dances at Katie's feet. Logan nibbles on the fingers and toes of Amy and Katie. Logan snuggles and cuddles with Amy and Katie. Logan goes crazy with joy when Amy comes home. Logan goes crazy with joy when Katie comes home. Logan licks Amy's fingers to make sure all the tasty goodness is cleaned off them. He licks the tasty spills off Katie's shirt and pants. Logan loves Amy and Katie. Logan doesn't care that Amy sits in a wheelchair. Logan doesn't care that Katie walks. Logan loves them both the same. Logan is a very smart puppy. He looks at their heart and sees who they really are. Why doesn't everyone else?

A bruised reed he shall not break and a smoldering wick he will not quench. I read this verse in a Max Lucado book when I was hurting and grieving for Sarah. I felt like there was so little left in me and I couldn't make it anymore. I wanted him to blow out the smoldering wick so I could be with my daughter. I wanted him to break the reed and let me go to heaven and have my pain end. I hurt so bad. I was battered and bruised. I knew there was no way I was going to make it through on my own. I asked God for help. I grabbed hold and clung to this verse for dear life because I didn't know what else to do. It took a long long time to heal. The bruises did heal though and through gentle puffs the fire grew out of the smoldering wick. It was a moment by moment, step by step process. I don't know how and I don't remember it much. It does work when you hang on to God because he is the rock. I could have never made it without his help.

I enjoy watching Extreme Home Makeover. It is a wonderful show. They do amazing things in seven days. Lives are changed and made better. It is fun to see all the new devices and appliances and ideas that they have for the people and homes. The homes are all so beautiful and huge--often McMansions. I wonder how expensive these homes are for utilities and taxes once all the tv cameras are gone. Does it get to be too expensive for these families? I hope not but I really do wonder about it. When the show first came on, I considered applying for it to have our home redone for Amy. We could use more room for her wheelchair and equipment. I figured though that it wasn't realistic. We just don't have the room for a mini mcmansion. I don't want one. I just want more room for wheelchairs. More space to store stuff. More room so Amy can really move around and have freedom in our home. I would like that so much but I sure don't see it happening right now. Life is just way too expen...

I completed my 30days of writing a blog. I kept my commitment to Surprise Me God. I reread all the blogs for it (not this one) and now have to mull it over. Dane and Amy are sick. Dane goes to the doctor tomorrow. Amy stayed home today and will tomorrow. I am playing it by ear. It is really cold here today. I was glad to keep Amy home and not bring her out in the bitter cold. It is hard for her when it is so cold. It feels like January instead of December. Well time to go and slip into a nice warm bed.

It has been twenty years since I last saw you. The time has gone by so quickly yet it has been so slow. Time is an odd thing. While you are in the midst of it, it is the slowest thing there is but when you look back, it is the fastest. I stood by you as the machine whooshed each breath for you. The warming blanket tried to keep your body warmed. The machines did the best they could but it was obvious that it was time for you to leave. Your borrowed time upon this earth which was God's gift to us was now over and we had to give you back to Him. It had taken me eleven days but I knew I had to let you go. I sat in the chapel with my cousin Kathy and we talked. Daddy stayed with you in the room as the machines were quieted and you were finally allowed to slip away. I came to say goodbye with Daddy next to me. I brushed your hair out of your face and stroked your hand. I looked at your quiet face one last time and said goodbye. I called grandma and grandpa to tell them you were gone. I ...