Doodledash

I had really good intentions to write every day but did not accomplish it. I will do better in December. Thanksgiving was a nice time. I had a turkey issue that made me tense. I have never a turkey that was not finished cooking early. I put in the meat thermometer after 4 hours and it said it was done. I took out the bird, took it out of the bag, placed it on the platter and Dane started carving. He kept saying how hard it was to carve and I looked at it. The meat was not done and everything else is. He finished carving and I nuked the white meat, put the dark meat in foil and stuck it in the oven. It was good and worked out well. I bought a digital meat thermometer to use from now on. Not gonna do that one again. Raw turkey is so unappealing! My mother-in-law(who was fairly well behaved), my parents, my brothers Bill and Greg, and Amy were here for the day. It was pleasant and I really appreciated my mom and everyone's help with the meal. After the meal was done and clean up w...

this has been a really shitty day. arguments and tense. stress. yuck. all of us have been wound up and walking on eggshells. i warned amy this morning that i was walking on eggshells with myself and to beware. there was just a lot of things that came up and bit all in the ass. it was not fun. nothing productive about any of it. kate and mackenzie came over for dinner and that was nice. it was the highlight of the day. i love crockpots. thank goodness it is time for bed and time for putting the past behind me. good night and good riddance to sunday.

I have 45 minutes of me time right now until I have to leave for work.  For the moment I have chosen to use some of them for writing this. I had a disturbing revelation this morning that will be my topic of pondering for quite a while. I realized that all my life I have tried to be a lot of different people. I have tried to be my mom, my dad, my aunts, an uncle or two,  my husband, my neighbors, my friends, my respected people, my aquaintances, my coworkers, my kids, and others. It was a matter of I thought I would be better if I acted like (insert name here) .   Now there was one very important name missing in the list. It was mine. I was trying to be everyone else but Debbie.  So now all these thoughts are flooding through my head...I don't have to be a (insert word here) . I don't have to be a math whiz like ( insert name here) , I don't have to be like (insert name here) , etc. It is very scary, very liberating, very exciting, very life changing.  ...