Doodledash

"What was taken will be returned" is a line from a song his friend wrote and I was listening to it when I decided it was time to tackle my blog. My husband was taken from us on June 2nd. It was too soon. I lost my best friend,  my anchor, my love on that day. He tried to prepare me for it, but I refused to give up. I didn't want to let him go I miss his stupid groaner jokes. I miss his smile. I miss holding his hand. I miss feeling his warmth at night. I could list a million things I miss, but it won't bring him back. Forty years ago on a hot September afternoon, he gave me his pledge of love to honor and cherish me until death do us part. He gave me his name. He gave me his whole heart. He gave me three wonderful daughters who stole his heart. He gave me strength and support.  He gave me everything he had and more. While he was sick and fighting the cancer,  he changed. He was no longer anxious. He was more understanding. He no longer let his pride get in the...

My life is surrounded by death and sickness at the moment. My husband is dying. My mother-in-law died. That pretty much covers it. I'm going to be a widow sometime in the foreseeable future unless the Lord chooses to heal him. I don't want to lose him. I want to be cranky old people together. I want to be white haired and loving. I want to see the future with him at my side.  I never never never imagined that this would happen. Never. I have gained a whole new perspective and appreciation for life. I don't care about things. I don't care about wasting my time and energy on anger or bitterness or unforgiveness. It's not worth it. I'm being held up by a lot of prayers which I'm so grateful for and thank everyone. Lord, please say yes this time again. Please.

I grew up in Temple Village. It was a neighborhood that was built around members of Temple Church many years ago. It's a maze of Temples-Temple Drive, Temple Lane, Temple Terrace, Temple Way, Temple Circle, Temple Road, North Temple Drive, and South Temple Drive. It's very easy to get lost, but that's part of the fun. My best friend growing up, Ronda, lost her mom. Today was the funeral. It was a packed house and there was a Temple Village reunion. I saw so many familiar faces of friends and neighbors looking a lot like I remembered their parents. We were all older, grayer, and more wrinkled than the last time we saw each other. Memories of good times, laughter and joy, tears and sorrow all mingled in the remembrance of Jean. I loved her. She was so much a part of my life at one time. She welcomed me and I was just another one of the family. She laughed so wonderfully. A full deep and hearty infectious laugh that couldn't help, but lift your spirits. I learned and a...