Remembrance
My friend's brother is dying from cancer. She went to see him last night and said he doesn't look good. Her sister-in-law said that she doesn't think he will last very long. He is in great pain and has faded into a gaunt shadow of his former self.
The wonderful part of this awful experience is the fact that after several years of avoidance, her brother and his wife contacted my friend and re-established their relationship. She has been able to spend the past several months getting to know him and having the joy of memories to cherish.
There was anger and resentment that caused the rift in the relationship. The saddest part is that she never knew the reason for the antagonism. She tried to reach out but if the other hand is not extended there is nothing to grasp. Seven years were wasted that can never be recovered as a result of the nonsense.
My husband's extended family had rifts throughout the various branches. I thank God that his dad and mom refused to allow the poison to invade their family and relationships with each other. I saw and listened to his aunts and uncles and cousins talk about the anger and fights and the years of bitter separation between themselves. What a horrible waste.
Life is too short and too precious to let bitterness and hatred destroy the bonds between those who are most important to us. It is really easy to get angry and then lick the wounds of pride refusing to humble ourselves to forgive. Forgiveness is difficult for me and I struggle to not let myself be trapped by the anger and the desire to strike back in pain. I have so often heard my mantra of "I forgive, I forgive, I forgive" over and over in my head. It is the only way I can do it at times because I want so badly to not forgive. I want to feel the pain. I want to revel in the anger. I want to hurt and I want to hurt them back.
I have reached a point in my life where I will pray..Lord, by faith I forgive them. I can't do it on my own but I know that you can. In the Bible, forgiveness is a command not an option. I have to remind myself of that. The hardest one to forgive is myself and I learn day by day a little more about how to do it.
I have found it helpful to create a remembrance of my forgiveness and my letting go. I will find something usually a rock or a stick and I will place it somewhere. When I place it, I will say, "With the placement of this stone, I leave and bury behind these feelings, these events, these disappointments..whatever they may be. I forgive and I am moving on." I walk away from them and they are now behind me. I have begun to take pictures as a reminder so if the memories or thoughts come to condemn or torment me I can tell myself, No I left these and they are in the past.
My phone is full of odd looking pictures that are my reminders of remembrance for myself. I have one that I took of some rocks where I placed a stick. I had some very painful things I had to let go of and now when I look through my pictures, it comforts me to know that I have healed and progressed. I have gotten beyond the pain. I have my markers of remembrance to mark my path of growth.
The wonderful part of this awful experience is the fact that after several years of avoidance, her brother and his wife contacted my friend and re-established their relationship. She has been able to spend the past several months getting to know him and having the joy of memories to cherish.
There was anger and resentment that caused the rift in the relationship. The saddest part is that she never knew the reason for the antagonism. She tried to reach out but if the other hand is not extended there is nothing to grasp. Seven years were wasted that can never be recovered as a result of the nonsense.
My husband's extended family had rifts throughout the various branches. I thank God that his dad and mom refused to allow the poison to invade their family and relationships with each other. I saw and listened to his aunts and uncles and cousins talk about the anger and fights and the years of bitter separation between themselves. What a horrible waste.
Life is too short and too precious to let bitterness and hatred destroy the bonds between those who are most important to us. It is really easy to get angry and then lick the wounds of pride refusing to humble ourselves to forgive. Forgiveness is difficult for me and I struggle to not let myself be trapped by the anger and the desire to strike back in pain. I have so often heard my mantra of "I forgive, I forgive, I forgive" over and over in my head. It is the only way I can do it at times because I want so badly to not forgive. I want to feel the pain. I want to revel in the anger. I want to hurt and I want to hurt them back.
I have reached a point in my life where I will pray..Lord, by faith I forgive them. I can't do it on my own but I know that you can. In the Bible, forgiveness is a command not an option. I have to remind myself of that. The hardest one to forgive is myself and I learn day by day a little more about how to do it.
I have found it helpful to create a remembrance of my forgiveness and my letting go. I will find something usually a rock or a stick and I will place it somewhere. When I place it, I will say, "With the placement of this stone, I leave and bury behind these feelings, these events, these disappointments..whatever they may be. I forgive and I am moving on." I walk away from them and they are now behind me. I have begun to take pictures as a reminder so if the memories or thoughts come to condemn or torment me I can tell myself, No I left these and they are in the past.
My phone is full of odd looking pictures that are my reminders of remembrance for myself. I have one that I took of some rocks where I placed a stick. I had some very painful things I had to let go of and now when I look through my pictures, it comforts me to know that I have healed and progressed. I have gotten beyond the pain. I have my markers of remembrance to mark my path of growth.
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~Reina