Trails...

When I close my eyes, I see the trails that my husband walked. One of the last ones we walked together was at a beautiful path along a creek. We'd walked these trails countless times together. This time we had our family pictures taken and he walked much more slowly. He wanted to leave us one final lovely memory. I held his hand and kept pace as we talked. We reminisced as we took each step. The smiles and memories are precious to me now.

Sometimes I'd get annoyed because he wanted to go somewhere to walk whether it be in a grocery store, a mall, or somewhere to eat. Now these strolls, these memories are a precious gift. Looking back, I can now see that we retraced  trails to our favorite spots. He knew what lay ahead and I was in denial. I didn't want to believe that the time left for my love was so short. 

One of my favorite moments was when we had walked through a mall and  he was tired. He paused and sat down to rest. I took a picture and to my delight, he made a goofy face. It's one of my favorite pictures of him.

The last trail he walked was from our house to the car to hospice. His steps were slow and he was silent. He said,"I'm never coming home again" and silently said goodbye. 

It's taken me several months to start to understand what he did and be grateful for all the memories. My life together with Dane started when my Dad walked me down the aisle and he walked me up the aisle as his wife. Now I walk these trails alone.

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