Doodledash

It was going to start out as a small family gathering but it took on a life of its own and grew into a party of 22! We got together at our house for burgers, brats and Dane's famous potato salad. The food was good, the weather perfect, and the company wonderful. Here are a few shots...

Manhattan from the 84th floor. Night becomes day in Times Square. Statue of Liberty was amazing. It was incredible to be there. To see and stand and behold that beauty who represents all that we hold dear.

Quiet within the chaos. With liberty and justice for all. Gondola ride anyone? TRAITOR!

Katie's dream come true, PHANTOM on Broadway! Amy's dream come true...A Hershey's store!!! Ellis Island view from the Great Hall. Crushed sphere from Ground Zero. Have a seat.

Diamonds are a girls best friend! I really did inhale but don't tell anybody! He has JLo. I have Capt Picard! I Vant to Bite Your Neck!

Everywhere you go there's a Target. Times Square girls. Debbie's dream. The New York Public Library. Amazing place. The lions said hi.

Not a view for the faint hearted Just don't spit when you look down. Empire Girls...Lovely lobby It was built in 13 months in 1931. They worked fast back then.

Dane with his buddy, Harmon Killebrew Just another family outing surrounded by baseball history.

The tire decided to blowout but thank God for AAA. We made a new friend. AArrrrgggg! The family secret. My crazy brother in law. Scoreboard in front of Baseball Hall of Fame. Go Twins! Hallowed Ground.

When I move into a new desk at work, the first thing I do once I am settled and have cleaned everything is shake my keyboard and clean my mouse. I open the bottom, take out the ball and generally get totally grossed out. I clean out the built up grime and dust. I clean the cracks and crevices. I make it shine. So many things have been creeping out the shadows and cracks of my mind. I know debris and ickies build up in these places just like they do everywhere else. I feel icky. I want to have an out of body experience and take a high pressure hose to myself. I want to clean out all those cracks and all those corners. I want to be washed clean. I want to feel clean. I want to sparkle and shine like my mouse. I have increased the dosage of my antidepressant again. I hope it helps. I want it to help. I want to be a work in progress. Unfortunately I feel like a progress that doesn't work. I should be happy. I am. Not. I have been on vacation for two weeks. Had a wonderful time. Don...

That is my original quote. I get very tired of doing things that I have to do. It gets hard to be who I need to be and do what I need to do. I am the only one who will do it so onward I go. I have really been struggling with darkness lately. I am much more comfortable in fog of night because that is where my spirits have been drifting. Depression is a dark and painful existence. It makes you bounce like a bloody yoyo. Up and down, up and down. I hate it. I hate the darkness and moodiness. The quiet eggshell existence. I get very frustrated with me. Frustrated with my shortcomings. It is all I can see. It is at these times I just prod along and do the familiar. Do just enough to make it. Don't go beyond the well trod path. Just keep on going. Just keep on moving. Eventually the path will leave the valley of shadows.

Someone told me today that I was an overcomer. I face things and keep on trudging along. I have never thought about myself in that way before. It is true though sometimes I am on my face more than I am on my feet. Steps can be very difficult at times, but when I look back on the trail there is the path where I have been. I took a break from things for a while as you can tell from the date of my last blog. It was necessary to step back and re-evaluate. I think I am ready to move on again. I would like to share my favorite poem. The Road Not Taken Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth. Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same. And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kep...

let me see now. what are the constants in my life? God mysteries reading movies faith chocolate my parents glasses or contacts long hair totally and completely hating the sound of slurping rainbows yellow brothers spaghetti pizza PEPSI neopets Dane Katie Amy procrastination bees creativity technology gadgets Curiosity learning love music and most of all, Myself.

New Year--a very eventful year I think Husband--getting better all the time. Definitely a keeper. Daughter--takes delight in fingerless gloves waving in the breeze Daughter--witty, wacky, wonderful Mother--inspiration, wise, funny, nuts Father--kind, loving, smart aleck, the best Sister--best one ever and worth waiting for Brother--been through the wringer and came out shining Brother--gentle, kind, funny, best twinkle in the eye Sister--gritty, spunky, fiercely protective, absolutely loving Brother--wise, witty, smart, worth listening to Brother--loving, giving, learning Brother--diamond who shines with the glory, love to talk to him, love him dearly, sweetheart Brother--perseverer who will make though the trail be rough, full of great love for his family Sister--hurting, trying, learning, growing, becoming Aunt--support, helper, friend, great friend, thank you Aunt--laughter, fun, wonderful Gram--thank you, prayer warrior Gramp--deep rooted, faithful, loving curmudgeon Gram--wonderfu...

Today is the first Monday of a new year. A new beginning. A new day. A new week. I have decided to make a change. I know that I can do it so I am now going to do it. I am changing the way I treat myself. I have always gotten down on myself. I have beaten myself up for making mistakes and not being perfect. I get angry and react poorly to certain situations such as when my husband is not feeling well. As of this moment, I am doing a lot of praying and leaning on the Lord for help. I am going to call out every time I need help. Whenever the negative thoughts come, He is getting a call. I am also going to be doing a lot of "Thank you Lords" to replace the nasty thoughts. I am forming new habits which unfortunately take several days to become new habits. I have read it takes 21 days to develop and keep new habits/behavior. Onward ho!

I sat down at the foot of a mountain. I had a shovel on the ground next to me. I had to move the mountain out of the way. I knew it was a hopeless task. I sat there and cried. He told me to give Him the shovel and not to worry anymore. I gave it to Him and fell asleep. I didn't think about it anymore. I actually forgot about it. One day I looked up and realized the mountain was gone and I didn't remember how it had moved. I was so excited and realized He had worked on it and I didn't even realize it. It still hasn't come back.

Logan loves Amy and Katie. Logan loves to give them both sweet kisses. He slipped his tongue between Katie's lips yesterday. He planted some slurps on Amy's lips and cheeks and chin and nose. Logan jumps and dances at Amy's feet. He jumps and dances at Katie's feet. Logan nibbles on the fingers and toes of Amy and Katie. Logan snuggles and cuddles with Amy and Katie. Logan goes crazy with joy when Amy comes home. Logan goes crazy with joy when Katie comes home. Logan licks Amy's fingers to make sure all the tasty goodness is cleaned off them. He licks the tasty spills off Katie's shirt and pants. Logan loves Amy and Katie. Logan doesn't care that Amy sits in a wheelchair. Logan doesn't care that Katie walks. Logan loves them both the same. Logan is a very smart puppy. He looks at their heart and sees who they really are. Why doesn't everyone else?

A bruised reed he shall not break and a smoldering wick he will not quench. I read this verse in a Max Lucado book when I was hurting and grieving for Sarah. I felt like there was so little left in me and I couldn't make it anymore. I wanted him to blow out the smoldering wick so I could be with my daughter. I wanted him to break the reed and let me go to heaven and have my pain end. I hurt so bad. I was battered and bruised. I knew there was no way I was going to make it through on my own. I asked God for help. I grabbed hold and clung to this verse for dear life because I didn't know what else to do. It took a long long time to heal. The bruises did heal though and through gentle puffs the fire grew out of the smoldering wick. It was a moment by moment, step by step process. I don't know how and I don't remember it much. It does work when you hang on to God because he is the rock. I could have never made it without his help.

I enjoy watching Extreme Home Makeover. It is a wonderful show. They do amazing things in seven days. Lives are changed and made better. It is fun to see all the new devices and appliances and ideas that they have for the people and homes. The homes are all so beautiful and huge--often McMansions. I wonder how expensive these homes are for utilities and taxes once all the tv cameras are gone. Does it get to be too expensive for these families? I hope not but I really do wonder about it. When the show first came on, I considered applying for it to have our home redone for Amy. We could use more room for her wheelchair and equipment. I figured though that it wasn't realistic. We just don't have the room for a mini mcmansion. I don't want one. I just want more room for wheelchairs. More space to store stuff. More room so Amy can really move around and have freedom in our home. I would like that so much but I sure don't see it happening right now. Life is just way too expen...

I completed my 30days of writing a blog. I kept my commitment to Surprise Me God. I reread all the blogs for it (not this one) and now have to mull it over. Dane and Amy are sick. Dane goes to the doctor tomorrow. Amy stayed home today and will tomorrow. I am playing it by ear. It is really cold here today. I was glad to keep Amy home and not bring her out in the bitter cold. It is hard for her when it is so cold. It feels like January instead of December. Well time to go and slip into a nice warm bed.