60

It's been seven months since I've written anything.

Confession...i turned 60 a few months back. That's an age I never thought much about or imagined and before I knew it, I was there. It's just a number I hear but it's a scary number.  Now 60 isn't so old because no way can I be that old. 

Sarah would be 36 if she were alive. Kate is 30. Amy is 24. Contemplate those facts. How it's that possible? 

At first, it didn't bother me, but now I've discovered it does. It just held off a while. It suddenly makes me more aware of my mortality. I can understand why old people talk about their health and issues now. I can get a senior discount. Yippee! Not. 

It's a state of mind. You're only as old as you feel. Bull pucky. I guess my body wasn't listening cuz I hurt way more than I did when I was 50. I just got over a nasty case of shingles. Get the shot, you don't want them. They hurt more than you can imagine. 

I hear more about people my age dying. Gulp. I have no fear of dying, but it still is the unknown. I want to know things so I naturally wonder what is the other side really like.

I love the song "I Can Only Imagine." A few  lines go "Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still? Will I stand in you presence or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to sing at all? I can only imagine." I picture myself on the ground crying.

I will see Sarah again. I've told my loved ones who are heading heaven ways to give her a hug from me. My aunt Darlene had a standing orders for it and I know she did it. My husband is afraid to die. I wish I could help him not fear it, but that's his battle, not mine.

Boy, did I ever turn into a Debbie downer. I know we never know when our time is up. Life is so fleeting. I got my heavenly reservation. It was promised to me when I accepted my Lord's gift. Make sure you know where you're going.

Life is good. Life is hard. Life is a bitch. Life is a challenge. Life is wonderful. Life is worth it. Life is all we've got.





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