Hindsight

hindsight ( ) n. Perception of the significance and nature of events after they have occurred. 

I still have not written my Christmas letter because I needed to review and decide what to write. I just finished reading my blog entries for this year. I figured that I would have written about the highlights and wanted to make sure that I didn't miss anything.


I titled this hindsight because it has quickly become apparent to me what the significant events of the year have pushed me to do. My friend Jone's death was the key event of the year. I promised myself that I would make some changes and no longer put off important things anymore. I can see the effect that decision has had on my life. 

  • I joined Weight Watchers which changed me in ways I never imagined. 
  • I have lost 22 pounds so far, I have learned to change the way I think about  myself.
  • I like who I am. I am proud of myself for changing. 
  • I have learned that I can make mistakes and not be a failure. I need to pick myself up and move on.
  • I am more aware of the choices that I make and the impact that they have. At first it was food but it has expanded to all areas of my life.
  • I am most definitely a work in progress.
I realized the other day that Jone's death had an impact on me like nothing since Sarah's death. I was forced to look at a lot of things and make some serious changes. I did not want to be the same person I used to be. I do like who I am becoming everyday.


My friend, Reina, sent me an email that sent me reeling. It made me open my eyes to myself in a new light. I am going to examine the issue of trying to be a perfectionist. It was from flylady.net and reading it this morning has sent off in a new direction. I need to let it sink in and give myself some space to deal with it but it showed me how my behavior has been impacting my family. It was a confirmation and clarity of stuff told to me by Dane and Amy and Katie. 


So off to the races. Giddyup and away we go!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What was taken will be returned...

"What was taken will be returned" is a line from a song his friend wrote and I was listening to it when I decided it was time to tackle my blog. My husband was taken from us on June 2nd. It was too soon. I lost my best friend,  my anchor, my love on that day. He tried to prepare me for it, but I refused to give up. I didn't want to let him go I miss his stupid groaner jokes. I miss his smile. I miss holding his hand. I miss feeling his warmth at night. I could list a million things I miss, but it won't bring him back. Forty years ago on a hot September afternoon, he gave me his pledge of love to honor and cherish me until death do us part. He gave me his name. He gave me his whole heart. He gave me three wonderful daughters who stole his heart. He gave me strength and support.  He gave me everything he had and more. While he was sick and fighting the cancer,  he changed. He was no longer anxious. He was more understanding. He no longer let his pride get in the...
Read more

My own little corner of hell...

I believe in this thing called life we're all assigned our own little corner of hell to live through to help define the person we are and will be. It's not a case of feeling sorry for myself, although, an occasional pity party can work wonders. It's more how we face it, how we adapt to the situation that God has given us. I Cor 10:13 says  The only temptations that you have are the same temptations that all people have. But you can trust God. He will not let you be tempted more than you can bear. But when you are tempted, God will also give you a way to escape that temptation. Then you will be able to endure it. My saturation and endurance point is at the zenith and I'm standing about to crumble. It's so hard for me right now. I called to talk to my mom today because she is one of the few people who will listen and has a good perspective of the situation. I wanted to run away from home today but I couldn't because I didn't have my own car. I borrowed s...
Read more

Take a few steps back...

Instead of complaining and whining I'm going to take a few steps back and see what all the challenges have produced or brought to me. Amy's feet and legs were badly infected and swollen. The only way they could be treated and healed was by her hospitalization. The Lord used Jim to save Amy's life. God had laid her on his heart with an urgent need to pray. He visited us and told her and then prayed for her. This convinced her she needed to go to the ER. We discovered a serious breathing issue that Amy had when she was hospitalized. Amy would've died and we had no clue. Amy had stopped breathing and had a CODE BLUE respiratory failure. An emergency team swarmed her room and I was alone. Bob has worked at the hospital a lot for years. I called him and he only heard a few words and came. When I saw his face in the door, behind all the staff, I went to him and fell apart. I needed to have someone and he was my someone. Continual healing of Amy when it medically sho...
Read more