Deep Down

This is going to sound really dumb and really stupid.

A few years ago my daughter started playing Neopets. She really enjoyed it and I got some pets for myself. It was something we could share and talk about and have fun with. She has decided not to do it anymore. I have kept it up even though she hasn't.

I was looking at her stuff tonight and a wave of sadness hit me. I wanted to cry. She is really leaving the things of childhood behind her and growing up. It is hard to have your kid grow up and get ready to leave. I had a lot of struggles and tears about it the past year. I have gotten a lot stronger and more accepting of it though. It just caught me by surprise tonight and I have this lump just sitting in the pit of my stomach along with a few tears.

I am so thankful that I have such a good relationship with her and her sister. I treasure that because it is so precious and so special. She is not only my daughter but my friend. I think that is why it makes it even harder to have her leave. I enjoy talking to her. I am going to miss our late night chats. It just won't be the same. I love Amy but she isn't Katie, just as Kate isn't Amy. They are both unique and wonderful.

I love you Kate and always will. You were the hope I had in the darkness of my grief. You were the light that drew me back to life. You were the joy of my heart. The answer to the deepest prayers I had in my life at that time. You have always been a joy and always will be the greatest blessing along with your sister and your dad that I have been given.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I love you mommy. This made me cry. I know that I have heard this before but it is still... idk. I love you.
8:44 PM
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